this week in shitty news reportage

reading the top 10 (or 5) “news” stories on the websites of u.s. papers is illustrative these days of the general worthlessness of traditional current events outlets. a sample:

Ahh… the wall street journal. their calculus is almost beautiful in its infantile simplicity: puff piece with fake gravitas + glenn beck as your editorials’ ghost writer + karl rove and john yoo as guest columnists = news that’s as fair and balanced as your spawn of murdoch conjoined twin fox news.

The new york times… let’s see: witty columnists? check. front page article on driving while texting? check. actual news? it’s somewhere in here… wait—does “news analysis” count? oh, i have to go to the “global edition” for that?

The SF Chronicle. A story of someone self-described as a “total idiot” wandering aimlessly through life… reminds me of a certain profession.

The Washington Post… okay, so besides the pet obsession and unhealthy nostalgia for the days of nixon, they actually do their job (sort of). just stay away from the editorial page (where a certain not-a-dead-fish alaskan governor was a recent contributor). which is still not as bad as:

Columbus’ Dispatch, the “voice of ohio”. umm…yeah.

cable news ≠ journalism

by channel:

CNN: Initiation of my spiral of disillusionment? mumbai bombings (thanksgiving ‘08), when “the situation room” and wolf decided to run live footage of the burning raj hotel instead of, you know, talking to people on the street, reporting on the dozens dead at the downtown railway station, etc. Nail in the coffin? Their non-coverage of the iranian elections/riots this weekend. Hope? Anderson Cooper still knows how to talk to people. Chances that I willingly watch them again? 5% (on the rare chance Jon Stewart appears on crossfire)

FOX: Initiation of my spiral of disillusionment? When Bill O’Reilly opened his mouth. Nail in the Coffin? Simultaneous. Hope? Shep Smith standing up against the hate O’Reilly stirs up. Chances that I willingly watch them again? 10% (if i need to shout at an inanimate object for awhile)

MSNBC: Initiation of my spiral of disillusionment? Olbermann tries to do the Edward R. Murrow look-into-the-camera-thing and ends up sounding like this . Nail in the Coffin? Scarborough doesn’t get the joke. Again, non-coverage of Iran. Hope? Rachel Maddow and tea-bagging jokes. Chances that I willingly watch them again? 10%